Wednesday, September 30, 2015

We need to wake up...

I have had so many feelings this week. While I admit, some of it may have to do with being 38 weeks pregnant and having some raging hormones, I am fairly confident that most of it has to do with the tragedy that happened this past Saturday night in my hometown. On a street so close to where I grew up. To a family with 3 beautiful girls, not so different from my own.

Unless you have been living under a rock or are not from western PA, you have heard the story of Ava Campbell. And, unless you are completely void of empathy, your heart broke into a million pieces for her family, especially after finding out the horrible and mind-blowing details of that night.

I did not know Ava's mom or dad, but my husband does. I can't even say that I knew Ava, but I did meet her. More than once. My mom and I have painted her face for years at the Cherry City Street Fair (my dad also was a volunteer fireman when I was little, just like Ava's.) I couldn't forget her. She really was what everyone is saying she was...cute, spunky, funny, beautiful, and friendly. This year, I think she was also a pink fox.


I cannot even imagine the grief her parents are experiencing. Not even for a moment. The strength of her mother, Amber, is a strength few could even begin to understand, and even fewer would want to. I have been so lucky in my life so far as a mother. So few worries and so few trips to Childrens...
When I think about all the times we have played outside at night, all the times she has gone swimming, fell, ran into something...when her doctors thought she might have a seizure disorder and we went to Children's to have an EEG, had her blood taken...times I thought, even for a second "What would I ever do without her?" Heidi is my everything. My reason for living, my purpose, my most precious and ever-present gift. How could I live without her? And now there is another on the way. How will I protect him or her and keep them both safe from the evil of this world? That helpless feeling is, in my opinion, the worst part of parenting, and the Campbells know it more than any parents should ever have to.

Speaking of that evil-I also cannot say that I know who Travis Grayson is. I don't know if he is really the horn-wearing, trident-toting devil I see when I look at his picture, or if he just made an incredibly selfish decision that destroyed and devastated an entire community- leaving an innocent family broken, left to pick up pieces that should never have been shattered. If the things I have read are true, though-he was given permission to act this way...by our leaders. By the people we have voted into offices to keep us safe and keep our community striving to be a place we want to raise our children, not bury them. How does someone, at 20 years old, get so many free passes at the law? I am pretty sure this monster was created, not born. No wonder he makes decisions without a thought to the consequences. They have never mattered before. Why would they have mattered on Saturday?

I won't say I never made a dumb decision at 20. I still do because I am not perfect. I don't expect perfection from others either. I do expect accountability when you break the law though. I expect there to be punishment handed down for driving drunk (no matter your age or who you know), for being drunk before the law allows, for being a 3rd time offender...I think we can all clearly see how lessening a repeat offender's charges do everyone a lot of good... Especially innocent families with small children leaving a craft night/play date wearing glow sticks and holding hands in a driveway...when will this country, and now this community, ever learn? I won't mention names, because they are listed clearly in the link, but Travis is not the only person responsible for beautiful Ava's senseless passing. Beyond the lump in my throat and tears rolling down my cheeks for the Campbell family, I have so much anger for this man and for the people in power who let him become someone I could hate without even knowing.

I pray each night, and will continue to pray that The Campbells find even a small amount of peace in knowing that Ava is with God, perfect and beautiful as always, watching over her sisters, waiting for them to join her in paradise. While my heart continues to break, along with so many others, I hope and pray that something positive makes it's way out of this absolute disaster.


Thursday, June 4, 2015

2 new additions...

holy cow. we're doing it. all at once.
baby #2 is coming in october, whether we are ready for him/her or not! so, we decided we should try to be ready...and as scary as it all is to me, i am so ready...for everything 2015 is bringing. let's do this!

baby #2 has made life interesting so far...i have FINALLY stopped randomly vomiting and been able to enjoy carrying this precious new addition around the past few weeks. i am so excited to meet heidi's new baby brother or sister, and see if pappy finally gets a boy or is outnumbered by one more beautiful little princess (2 daughters, 5 nieces, and 3 granddaughters so far).

due october 13, 2015

we bought our simple, cute, 90 year old house 6 years ago (almost to the day). it is not beautiful. it is not big. it is not fancy or without wear. it doesn't get second glances or gasps when driven past. there is always a job to do or project to start. our house is exhausting. i love it.

Closing Day. May 2009
May 2015

our home is so much more than a roof & 4 walls. it is the place on which we took our first chance together. we weren't married. we weren't even engaged. it would be a year before both of those would happen. and a year is what we needed (proof is in the pictures). i am crazy proud of the work and sweat (and tears) that have gone into this house. it was certainly not always fun, and almost nothing we have done has gone according to plan, but i am forever grateful for all the work, time, and effort adam, his parents, and my parents have put into this place we call home. i love it and i love raising my little girl in it. i only hope that everyone is as grateful for the walls and roof that surround them as i am!
 
we are planning to add a 2 car garage with a bedroom and bathroom above that will connect right into our basement (below) and living room (above). i cannot wait to have some storage. it's amazing what little storage was needed 90 years ago when our home was built!
 



i cannot even describe how blessed we are. nervous, excited and beyond blessed! every day seems to bring new challenges and anxiety, but i am so grateful to share these journeys with adam. he is solid as stone and always knows how to make me feel better about things (especially when it means he will be getting his dream garage..haha) life is not slowing down, so we better be ready!